What it takes to be Republican

Contributed by Luisa Heymann

Dear Friends: I am passing along the following, because it really struck a chord with me. There is nothing like Peace Corps service and/or living abroad to make you more patriotic than ever, yet less nationalistic.
As I hear from friends and acquaintances abroad, I realize more and more the depth of the morass into which Bush has led us. I understand and respect Republicanism as it relates to a belief in states' rights and a conservative monetary policy. I do not understand supporting the current party elite which have strayed very far indeed from the party's roots and ideals, and who characterize even moderate Republicans as "unpatriotic" citizens. Though you may have to hold your nose to vote for John Kerry, I encourage to do so, before our reputation is so tarnished it can't be redeemed. Best
Regards,
Luisa

Things you have to believe to support today's Republican Party:

1. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
2. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but Should increase IRS audits of families making under $50,000.
4. "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
5. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can be trusted to make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
6. Jesus hated homosexuals.
7. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay, and using a minimum number of troops (to save money) in combat.
8. Group sex, sexual harassment of women, and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
9. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
10. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
11. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
12. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
13. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
14. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush
Sr. made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush couldn't find Bin Laden.
15. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
16. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which should include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
17. George Bush's driving and military records are none of your
business.
18. You support states' rights, but Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
19. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '70s and '80s is irrelevant.
20. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

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